Little of This, Little of That

Some days I'm not quite sure what I want to say.

One thing however, is sure, my grammar is on the horrid side of horrid and not so horrid.

I've been discovering that some things are not as they seem deep within. I have also learned that controlling things does not make them disappear.

I have also begun to dance in public, something I never thought I would do.

Today I went to use the ATM machine outside of a bank alongside Valley Parkway in Escondido.

The thing was a drive-up ATM but since I had the card and my dad was driving I opted to get out and use it just standing there.

Or so I thought,

you know the little delays in electronic items? Well, in between those I started dancing. . . not very well. I really can't dance.

It was more of a fun boppy sort of dance to amuse myself while I waited.

Then I heard laughing in the car, I turned to look and there was my dad and two sisters laughing at me.

Embarrassing.

Yet I can't seem to help myself.

It's great fun while I do it, then turns into mortification which only lasts about a moment. Then I continue on my way dancing.

I puzzle over this change, does this mean I have gotten more foolish?

Does this mean I have improved?

I cannot tell you what it means.

But it happens.

Something else I brought up earlier, controlling something does not make it disappear.

Is this a good thing?

I know not.

One thing I do know; here it is and now I must think about it. . .

Still controlling it though, the dam hasn't broken yet.

I suppose that's a good thing.

I know not.

The hard part is trying to explain it, even I don't fully understand it.

What do you say to those things that are very present yet not yet fully understood?

I know not.