No Words

I have no words.
I can't explain
I have this pain
But I cannot say
Where it is
What it is
There are no words
For you
Or me
We must get through it
In order to be
It won't last
It'll be in the past
But now it hurts
And I feel like dirt.

Simplicity

The other day I went down to the beach, the weather was quite nice.
There was just a hint of haze in the air, the ocean breeze was blowing, the temperature was not too hot and not too cold.
It was wonderful.
There weren't many people there.

I walked along the beach not thinking much, I was just enjoying being there. My head was quiet. It was a nice change from the usual parade of crazy thoughts flying through my head. I suppose one could even say that I was relaxed.
Somehow (and much to my great delight) I have begun developing an eye for simple beauty. A rock with an interesting pattern, a shell with some purple in it, nothing but water stretching for miles...

I took along my camera and took pictures thinking how lucky I was to be there.
When I was younger I never gave a second thought to where I lived or the beach or anything. For some reason I have begun to appreciate so much more and I love it, I find simple happiness in a child walking down the pier holding his elders hands, its extraordinary how much is in the world.

I walked along and picked up rocks I thought were interesting, I felt a bit childish, I did that when I was younger. I often took more rocks from the beach than I knew what to do with. I also tried to build a sandcastle but it started to get messy and I stopped.

The ocean drowned out most other noise, it was almost quiet, almost still. I think that such small things are healing to the soul and I find myself craving the simplicity of a walk along the beach with the sun on my back, wind in my face and nothing but the sound of the ocean in my ears.

I suppose I'm overflowing with thankfulness that I was there that day.
I love Southern California, its the place I come back to with relief in my heart knowing that I'm home. Despite the traffic, the rude drivers, the many people who cross the street; this is it for me: the end of the line.

(Note, if you doubt anything I said just check the length of this blog, that should prove how simple it was. I have said enough and captured it all.)

To Label; Good or Bad?

Bourgeois, jock, nerd, geek, gay, bi...
These are only a few of the labels imposed on different groups of people by today's' society.

I just recently began thinking about labels after reading an article that happened to mention labels and it got me thinking; are labels any good?

We belong to a society in which they wish to label everything so that they might understand everything a little better. Maybe it isn't it even that, maybe people have the need to everything in a certain place so that they will know if they belong above that item/person or below it.
I suppose some people label others because its easier to remember who you are talking about specifically if you have something to associate them with.

There is a search for identity among the human race, a longing to belong.
Labels sometimes play a part in this, they can at times provide a place of belonging for the soul searching for their place.

People argue that labels are used to put people down and some truly are for that purpose. But that is another discussion entirely.

Perhaps we should find the difference between "label" and "class."

According to dictionary.com these are the definitions;
Class; a number of persons or things regarded as forming a group by reason of common attributes, characteristics, qualities, or traits; kind; sort: a class of objects used in daily living.

Label; a short word or phrase descriptive of a person, group, intellectual movement, etc.

So is it or is it not the same thing?
Class seems to imply that the group forms and is then labeled by the individuals within that class.
whereas label seems to imply that the group is not formed, it is named by others who are outside of the group which shares certain similarities.
But by sharing certain similarities they have already formed a group, whether knowingly or unknowing it is a group.

Perhaps some labels are valid and others aren't, everywhere you look there are labels for everything, rude, not so rude, everywhere you look there are labels.

I wonder, is this a good thing?
Perhaps if we had no labels for certain things then they might change.

Labels can get confusing sometimes, heck even what I've written seems so confusing that I don't know what to do with it. All my thoughts on this subject have been so muddled that I have a hard time separating one from another.

I think that is what it is like with the words "label" and "class." Those words have been thrown around so much that people have difficulty seeing the difference.
I really think that this topic requires so much more thought and dissection that I have no idea how to even go about breaking down this topic further.

Some people hate to label things because they feel that having a definitive name for something will only serve to suppress what it could grow to be. In a nutshell they feel that it stunts any further growth.

Others perhaps feel that if they take on a label for who they are or class themselves with a group it will force them change fully to be the very incarnation of the stereotype for that group of people which will in turn impose on their freedom to be.

Perhaps if there were no labels or distinctions between groups of people then the wars between the classes to impose their values on a another group of society would be quiescent.

But if there were no distinctions then there would be no diversity which provides the interesting elements of the human race which I love; but I digress.

I suppose that whether or not a label or class is a good or bad thing must be determined by the individual.
Whether or not they wish to identify with a certain group of people and in so doing take on a label, must be decided by the individual themselves; not by society

V-Day

Its 2:52 in the morning,
I just finished writing all of my reflections from the previous day.
(for those of you looking for; Of Old Men And Roses see below this post.)

Then I went to Google and realized (thanks to the picture) its Veterans Day.
I feel obligated to say something in thanks to the people who currently serve in the military or have served or have given their lives in service to our country the good 'ol U.S. of A.

There isn't much to say besides thank-you and I wish that our military had the full support of everyone in this country.
The personnel fighting overseas give the dissenters the freedom to dissent.
Oddly enough (or not) the dissenters do not appreciate the fact that they still have the right to dissent thanks to the people who defend us.
Granted not all of the wars have been entirely right however it is a great sacrifice to sign away some of your life to become property of the government.
We all love freedom.

So I appreciate the sacrifices that have been made so that I can post another blog in public view without fear.

Of Old Men And Roses

The past few days I was up in Auburn with Liz.
They have "real" Autumn; the leaves change colors and fall off whilst the temperature falls chilling the bones at night. (A little during the day too)
Needless to say I didn't venture out without my leather jacket; which (I might add) is the bomb. I had a nice time up there, the weather was good for the soul.
But that's beside the point.
It was completely beautiful up there, unfortunately for me I'm a southern California girl at heart so if I were to stay up there for more than a few days I would wish for nasty hot wind blowing through the plethora of houses that line the streets without pines trees and water separating them from the streets.
That information was also beside the point.

Here's the story; Liz had to go to the DMV to renew her registration which had expired and so I went along as the amusing little mexican chica...or something. (Just kidding)
By the way, the DMV is tiny, there's about five or six windows and about thirty chairs which was not enough for the amount of good townsfolk in the room; quite a few people were standing up.
And I have just now realized that this story has two parts.
Here's the first part;
unfortunately it takes place in the crowded DMV, I wasn't going to subject anyone to imagining the tiny room anymore than I have described but it appears that ya'll will have to go back to that crowded room of the uncomfortable blue chairs and chatter.
At least it was warm.
Anyways...
I was sitting in a chair reading the handbook for people wishing to obtain a motorcycle license because I am pondering the possibility also I needed to entertain myself while we waited.
So I'm sitting there reading about not hitting side mirrors and trashcans and such when an elderly man walked into the DMV.
I didn't think anything of it; just another person coming in to wait in the crowded noisy room.

The man walked a bit slowly up to the counter and took a number then headed to the back of the room. I turned my attention back to the handbook but I stopped reading again when I heard a lady behind me offer the old man her seat.
I was still looking at the book but I wasn't reading anything and I didn't want to turn around and stare rudely like I had nothing else to be looking at.
However I was listening as is a favorite pastime of mine; listening in to other people's conversations. I am cursed with good hearing, I'm not an eavesdropper (most of the time); the conversation wasn't private...
So she offers the man her seat and the elderly man refused it in the true spirit of a gentleman. She was a lady so doubtless he took that into consideration when giving her an answer.

I must say I was pleasantly surprised finding that perhaps my generation isn't as hopelessly impolite as they seem at first glance.
The lady insisted, the old man thanked her and sat down, I went back to actually reading.

It put a bit of a smile on my face, it is nice to see people who still have respect for their elders and put their needs first simply because they are older than they.
I'm not quite putting myself into that category, lord knows I need a bit more in that department.
But it was nice.

Now for the second part.
Liz ended up having to go and get her car smogged because it was an odd year or something. I don't know much about the rules for renewing registration seeing as how I don't actually own a car.

The shop we went to had roses in the planter around the building, I saw them, thought it was nice, and thought about going over to smell the flowers.
I love roses, granted they were the wrong color, pink and white. I like red ones but they all smell the same.

Anyways even though I thought about going over to smell the roses I didn't, I think there may have been a fleeting thought about how I would look, I would be called a "dork", someone would think I was strange; you get the picture.
I ended up sitting on a retaining wall casting an occasional glance at the flowers enjoying the cold air and fall colors mostly contemplating taking a picture of the rocks under my feet. (Truth)

I don't know how long I was sitting there but eventually a big white truck drove up and a man probably in his late forties got out.
My eyes followed him idly, he seemed to be in a bit of a hurry but right before he hurried in the doors he paused, bent over and smelled one of the roses.
Then he went in for a few minutes dashed out, got in his truck and drove away.
I thought, "That's what it means to stop and smell the roses. No matter how much of a hurry you are in you can stop and take a second or two to enjoy a nice smell or a pretty sight and then go about your business."
I was glad I saw that, it taught me a lesson, it also made me chastise myself for not following my first impulse.

Ah; there's another part to the story:
Today on the drive back to Vista there was a rainbow around the sun, it was amazing.
I spent a good while staring out the window at it hoping I wasn't doing too much damage to my eyes.
Why did the sun have to be right in the middle of it?
Right.
It wouldn't be so awesome if it was just a rainbow...
not to knock rainbows.
I love them but this one was around the sun and I had never seen that before.
On the way down we hit traffic in L.A. and after L.A. and I think there was a bit right before Lala land as well.
I didn't care, the windows were down, music was blasting, I was with Liz, there was fresh air (mostly) and it just made me so happy.
Even the selfishness of the other drivers only served as amusement.
Of course I wasn't the one stuck behind the wheel but I honestly don't think I would have cared, I wouldn't have been able to stare out the window as much but it still would have been pretty nice.

I think most humans are programmed to stop and enjoy things if only for a few moments but we shove it aside to make room for our busy lives or we push it aside for fear of being called strange. I suppose some of us push things away for so long that we being to fail to see the beauty that right in front of our eyes.
Where someone might see an item worth a few moments another would see nothing and go about their day without finding a small moment to brighten it.

That's all; smell the roses people.
I don't just write this for myself.