To Write or Not to Write.

I haven't written in some time.

If you look at the date of the last post it's nearly a year ago.
Suffice it to say that I have had a few life events happen to me which pushed a mental block so high that I found myself struggling to climb it but my clumsy output hurt and frustrated me so much that I simply stopped thinking about my writing.
Oh it passed through my mind on occasion but like any temperamental person, I pushed it from my mind and continued on.
Even this post so far seems clumsily worded.
I am going to continue.

A conversation with one of my friends got me thinking about my writing as I was forced to recall the basic story lines of all six projects I had started; I haven't been able to get it out of my mind since.
Today I spent time editing one of my stories that I hadn't touched in a long while but I have started feeling like it's a silly story, like I am ridiculous for writing it. Who would make up such a thing??
It isn't outrageous, it's just a story yet I feel that the premise is rather insane and perhaps not so above board.
I am going to continue writing and see what happens.
Or at least, that's what I'm saying now. I hope I can continue and push through my feelings about it.
A sane person might suggest not working on something one feels is rather ridiculous but I read through it and enjoyed it.

Which makes no sense at all.

How can I enjoy reading something and feel that it is ridiculous at the some time?
Does that even make sense?

I guess I don't want to get caught up in the writer mode and become as stormy as I get when I am writing.
When I write, I become moody.
Annoyed when interrupted, furious when I am called away from it. I also get into the mental state of the characters and that is probably enough to throw anyone off.

I don't want to become that weird annoying artist that no one wants to be around.
They like their work, but they don't want to be around them.

I get completely pulled into my head even more than I already am and I know certain people don't want to be around that.

I suppose that is part of what has been holding me back; fear.
I don't want to bug the people I talk to with my issues that will undoubtedly rise to the surface if I start writing again.

Starting to write again means opening myself up to old feelings which is pretty damn scary. I might revert a bit to who I was when I felt them.
I don't want to feel some of the things that I felt but if I write again I will have to let myself feel them.

So brave the feeling or stay away from them?
Is it even worth it?

I've made some new friends and I'd like to keep them but let's face it, people like to be around sunny citizens of the earth who will lift their souls to the heights of heaven.

Perhaps I am over-thinking this whole thing. I tend to do that.
Maybe I should think a little less and write a little more.
Good things could happen.
Right?

So hey, here goes nothing.